be brave.
2008-09-04.. 9:59 p.m.
sorry man. this blog's been stagnant for so long.. well perhaps that may just imply that my life's stagnant too. haa..
but i think all's still not that bad. its only been less than 2 months.. but i'm already sick of the stress and all that's building up from school, work, dance, family, r/s..and whatnots. the pace of life is strikingly different..and i am beginning to dread all the serious work that i am engaged in.. and the fact that everyone here is soo damn hardworking makes me shudder, and feel compelled to be like one of them.
i just want to be myself, do my own stuffs.. and perhaps sometimes dont even want to bother about what others want/think. cant i just answer to myself and not everyone else? i dont know why but i think, i live by this notion of having to answer to everyone else but me.. and i end up being so lost, confused because in the end, i've lost it, and i have to find it back all over again. so life to me is like a constant search of the self. too much reflexivity on one's positionality could be disastrous too.
sometimes i feel like i'm so fluid, i dont have a mind of my own, such that when i feel like expressing myself, my style in say, dance, i cant do it.. because i simply dont dare, dont know and freak i dont know what's holding me back.
just keep hiding in that stupid shell of yours and you'll never see the light, hermit.
videos
2008-09-04.. 9:39 p.m.
i seriously loathe the sight of myself in videos. yet i watch them over and over again...
more wishes
2008-09-04.. 3:09 p.m.
i already have a birthday wish this year. and i hope it comes true..
anyway its gonna be the 3rd year running that i have to spend the day dancing away..
blighted
2008-09-04.. 2:56 p.m.
just a simple wish... translated into wishful thinking.
food for thought
2008-09-02.. 12:21 p.m.
Power is like a violin. It is held in the left hand and played by the right
-Agentinian aphorism (quoted in Smith 2006)
selamat ramadan!
2008-09-02.. 12:16 p.m.
this is abit wols, but still..
selamat ramadan!